You Were Closest to my Heart~ My Mother's Day Story

     In order for me to tell my story, I'll need to back up a bit.   Right after Preston was born Mark and I weren't sure if we want to continue on with our family.  Then we felt God working and opening our hearts for another one.  We tried for over 1 1/2 years to conceive.  Our ages were not in our favor,  I had Preston when I was 43.  This past winter we were getting very frustrated and started reading lots on the internet.  There was one article that we read that said "once a woman gets to 45 there is only a 1% chance of her conceiving naturally and a 50% chance of keeping it."  Not exactly what we wanted to read.
     Within 4 weeks we were looking at a positive pregnancy test!!!  OMG!!!  We kept grabbing it and looking at it for about 2 weeks, never thinking we'd see one of those again.  Back in our thoughts now we were thinking about the 50% chance of not making it.  We had gone through a traumatic miscarriage 4 years ago, something we didn't want to repeat.  So I immediately started doing progesterone cream and had C&B around. (Things I bought from Mountain Meadow Herbs) Over the course of the next few weeks we kept our little secret.  Behind the kids backs Mark would rub my tummy and smile at me.  I printed off a few freezer meal recipes as this little one was due 12/6/12, right during a busy time for me and the holidays.
     So I started thinking business wise...how am I going to get through a busy holiday season with mail orders and craft shows.  Many of my sales I'll run for a week, never ran one for a month.  May is my anniversary for selling on line so I thought I'll try a month long sale.  I wanted to see what the pattern was for buying.  New labels also came into play something I pondered long enough.  Looking for something easier for me to do either 9 months pregnant or new baby around.  Fall soaps were already getting made, new system for curing in place.   That 50% chance still hanging in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that these are things that can be done now and whether or not we have a baby it will still be for the good.
    The weekend of May 5th we started telling the kids.  By this time Mark and I've talked so much about this baby it was starting to feel more real.  We had a feeling it was a boy because of my cravings of protein and me falling asleep at random times.  One thing the kids always liked about me being pregnant were my cravings...I seem to crave the best tasting food.  Karlie's First Communion meal came about from my cravings.  :)
    Then our week from hell starts it was a week of really high times and really low times.  Early Tuesday morning Emily found our dog Lucy hit on the road and in the mean time I had chicks hatching.  I commented on facebook that it was a roller coaster of feelings that day.  That afternoon I pulled out all the maternity clothes washed them and put them away.  And later that day our pigs came.  I was happy because between the chicks and the pigs it took the little kids minds off of Lucy.  Later that evening I started spotting.  At first we thought I over did it that day.  There was just too much that happened and I needed to rest.
     On Wednesday I called our midwife to check with her as to what might be going on.  She told me to come in the next morning at 8 to do an ultra sound...I would be 10 weeks then and should see a heart beat.  The next morning I woke up crying fearing the worse and found more blood than usual.  Mark and I went alone to the ultrasound to find out that our baby had no heart beat.  We were devastated to say the least.   Now to come home and tell the kids.  Four years ago we lost a baby at 10 weeks 3 days...10 weeks 3 days now lines up with Heather college graduation but what are the odds, right?  We still had 2 of our older kids to tell and they were met with the high news and low new all at once.  So the next couple of days I did lots of walking thinking that would help bring things on.  I moved my jungle of plants outside, the kids and I planted the garden...I kept busy.
     Now we're at Sunday, Mother's Day, May 13...Heather's graduation and still no baby, what do we do now?  Mark really wanted to stay home with me with the four younger kids but I really felt that he needed to be with Heather.  She's only going to graduate college once and I'll have other Mother's Days in hopefully better circumstances. Plus, the younger ones were so excited to "go to college".  We made the difficult decision for me to stay alone.  Not the easiest decision to make but as my bother in law would say "it had to be done".  I was literally a walking time bomb not know when this would take place.  So off went Mark with 6 kids and picked up Aimee and up they went to St. Norbert's.
     So now here I am for the next 8-9 hours.  I started doing some laundry, got 3 loads hung out.  Watered some of the animals because it was getting warmer than they thought.  Made 5 loaves of bread.  Watched movies that the kids don't let me watch...like State Fair and Ma and Pa Kettle.  I stayed busy, if I got idol I would cry because I would get thinking too much.  About 2 in the afternoon I took a nice warm bath...I think this is what started things.  Right after I went out to rewater the animals, came in to post to my friends, stood up and it was over.  Nolan Aaron was taken from my womb at 2:42 that afternoon.  At 3 Jason called to see if he and Katie could come over after milking and I told him what had just happened and said it should be ok.
    This paragraph might be a bit graphic.  It was right after that call that every thing started to move.  I had clots not at big at I was expecting and lots of blood.  Every time someone called I tried to put on a happy face but in the meanwhile I was on the toilet with more blood and clots.  I took some shepherd purse that the midwives sent back.  My biggest fear was passing out so I kept moving and going to the bathroom.  I was so scared.  For the next 3 1/2 hours I felt so alone.  Everyone kept calling to see how I was doing but the best thing was seeing Mark walk through that door.  I hugged him so tight and just started crying.
     Shortly after that I felt faint and was laid out for a while.  I felt bad because Jason, Katie and Aimee were all around too.  By 8 that night the kids had left and I went to bed.
     Monday morning comes...new day...new week.  My college girls come home for the summer.  I think we're all ready for a fresh renewing start.  We can spend time together and heal.  My real Mother's Day is how the kids treat me throughout the year.  The next few days I know I'll be pampered just having them close to me means more that anything.

When Life gives you scraps...part 2

Part 2 brings you 3 more quilts that have recently gotten done.  My scrap tote is actually getting down and I can get the cover on.  :)  

Another quilt using the pattern Going to Grandma's (link in part 1) A great pattern for using scraps of all sizes.   The blue in this quilt is light weight denim left over from making some skirts.  I thought it looked good and gave it a nice country appeal.  This is a twin size quilt.

This is a kit from Connecting Threads and is no longer available.  It is a lap size quilt.  I ended up buying it so I could use the scraps because it is also part of the Charlottesville collection, because there is another quilt I'm working on from all the other scraps from this collection...LOL  

Switching gears a little bit...this is a twin size quilt that only took 3 hours to make the top!!!  The pattern comes from the book The Civil War Sewing Circle and the pattern name is Soldier's Cot Quilt.  Extremely easy to assemble I would highly recommend it to any beginner quilter. 

Part 3 will be shopping bags...another great project to use your scraps on.   

When Life gives you scraps...part 1

This past winter part of my goal is to use up some of my fabric scraps laying around or piled in totes. Shhhh...I keep telling Mark that I'm cleaning.   Part 1 shows some of the quilts we made in early February with a couple of them made from kits.  With the boring winter we had my daughters and I enjoyed working together on some of these projects.  A couple will be gifts this Christmas and the rest will be ours.  

The quilt above and the quilt below are 2 different quilts both are twin size.  Using the same pattern but different fabrics.  The pattern is called Going to Grandma's and is found on the Connecting Threads web site.  This is a great pattern if you have lots of small scraps laying around.  It is made up of 2 different blocks that alternate.  

Above is the Pinwheels and Stars quilt that my daughters and I put together one weekend.  This is part of their Charlottesville collection...Civil war period inspired fabrics.  This is a queen size quilt.  It was a little tricky at first keeping the different colors together but we soon found a rhythm that worked.  

This is also from the Charlottesville collection and is called a log cabin quilt.  I love doing log cabins where you keep light fabrics on 2 sides and dark fabrics on the other 2 sides.  This kit is no longer available from Connection Thread.  It is also a queen size quilt.  

This last quilt was a thorn in my side for 2 years. After running into troubles I packed it away and thought some day I'd haul it back out.  Little did I know I was only 6 hours away from finishing it.  LOL   I found this fabric on the web and is from the collection called Cider Mill Road by Nancy Halvorsen.  Surprising 2 years later there are a few pieces around for sale yet.  The pattern consists of star blocks in the middle of Irish chain blocks with a keyboard edge.  This is a queen size quilt.  

Stay tuned for more of our scrappy projects.  

Our first time making a cabinet

     

Preston and the not that old TV.

On Dec. 8 our 3 1/2 year old TV bought from a "Big Box Store" decided to die.  We soon learned that the big box stores are able to sell cheap because they are made with cheap parts.  Some time ago we had heard that with power tools so I guess it applies to everything.  The more we think about things it does seem true.  So, now what do we do...only 3 days away from a Packer game and no TV.  Personally I don't like the looks of the flat screens never have and never will.  I feel like you need to work with them to make them look like they belong wherever you decide to put them.  This time we went to a TV shop where they can't even buy the TVs that the big box stores sell.  We looked at 2 different ones, got measurements and then stopped by the lumber store.  I had an idea in my head that I thought would work in our room.  We have a large 24'x24' family room but the TV has to go into a corner and from what we've learned about flat screens is that when you are off to the side it looks foggy.  So, are we going to be able to fit a 55" and still be able to view at all points in the room?  

This is the corner that we had to work with...there is 3' from the corner to the window and 8' from the corner to the patio door on the right.  So we ran 2x2"s along the walls where we wanted the shelves and this gives us the frame work that we need.

 Next came the oak plywood and with careful planning it was able to be cut diagonally with very little waste.  The shelf for the new TV bows out slightly to accommodate the stand that the TV sits on.  Little by little you can see this come to life.  This is the end of  Friday and the kids kept trying to visualize what this TV will look like so I took newspaper and laid it out, taped it and put it up on the wall to help them "see" it better.  :)
On Saturday we continued because the TV was getting delivered that afternoon.  We got the plywood screwed down and the sides then were put on.  Meanwhile, I have this thing in my head all built.  I guess that's what makes our 28+ year marriage work...Mark and I work very well together.  I knew the next steps and Mark has the patients and skill to make detailed cuts.  OK...so the TV comes and we are no wheres close to being done so it goes on the floor.  Not something we really wanted to do but at this point we had no choice...the Packer game was the next day.
Finally by game time the TV is resting on it's shelf.  This thing weighs 77 pounds so we needed things to be secure before lifting it into place.

 Day by day goes by...piece by piece gets added.  It has been a slow process but definitely worth while.





 The following pictures show our work as of today...2 weeks after we started.  We still need to add a little more trim and a door...but it is looking so good.  Just as I visualized it and the best part...it looks like it belongs in this room.  Enjoy the following pictures to show more details.

We added details trim on the doors to give it a "raised" look.  

I found these knobs that had the leaf pattern on them to match the trim.  

This runs along the top of the TV...we made our own crown using picture frame wood and a larger piece of the leaf trim.  

Standing back

This is from the kitchen.  

Life Lessons

At this time we hear from friends and family via cards and letters.  I opened one today from John and Sandy with a very meaningful story at the end.  It goes like this...

A professor did an experiment for his class.  He took a large jar and filled it with golf balls and asked the class if the jar was full.  They said it was.  He then poured some pebbles into the jar and shook the jar so the pebbles would fill the open areas.  He then asked them again if the jar was full and they agreed that it was.  Next he poured sand into the jar and it filled up everything else.  Once more he asked if the jar was full and the class said "yes!"  The professor then took a beer and poured the whole thing into the jar.  The students laughed!  The professor said, "This jar represents your life.  The golf balls are the important things-family, friends, faith and health.  The pebbles are other things that matter - job, home and car.  The sand is the small stuff.  There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.  Set your priorities- the rest is just sand.  Oh and the beer just shows that no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend."  Or as Jesus did- he always had time for a fish sandwich with a friend.

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did....Merry Christmas!

Our Online Christmas Letter

Everyone has been on my case about writing this and I just haven't found the time.  For me to write a good Christmas letter with the usual flare it takes me about a month...so we'll see how this goes early in the morning.

I'm going to pull names out of a hat and do things not in order like I've done in the past.

Jacque bought herself a house in Hartford this past spring and is enjoying life as a home owner.  Her biggest accomplishment was her 4'x4' garden.  I explained to her about square foot gardening and she was intrigued since her backyard we could fit in our kitchen...but hey, remember...she's a land owner now.  Might not be much land but it's hers.  She's currently working on adding more letters behind her name.  You'd have to ask her what it's all about because she lost me when I asked her.  If I have this figured right within 24 years she'll have every letter of the alphabet.

Ah Karlie, our 7 year old with a heart of gold.  Recently you can find her outside with the chickens.  Her favorite is a buff hen that you'll find her carrying around the door yard or giving wagon rides to.  This past spring the girls were playing with the calves and Karlie stepped on a nail that resulted in a ER visit.   Later this past September she started piano lessons and is already excited to play at the nursing home with her older sisters and brother.  She's in the 2nd grade and will be celebrating her first communion this spring.

Next out of the hat is Olivia...our 5 year old bouncing blonde.  She's usually found 3 steps behind Karlie if not in front of her.  It's not unusual for her to come into the house all out of breath telling me about them playing with the calves or chickens.  We are trying kindergarten with her and not pushing it.  The biggest challenge with her is trying to get her to hold the pencil the right way...this makes 2 years now.

Heather...she won't tell you unless you ask her but she's applied at grad schools. (Wisconsin, Michigan and Minnesota) She took her GRE this past summer which was an experience trying to make it through all the road construction in Oshkosh.  This spring she'll be graduating from St. Norbert's with a BS in Biology (and I think in Chemistry too)  This year she is sharing a dorm room with Hannah...so far so good, I think.  Heather keeps the room more serious making sure they keep to their studies.

Jason and Katie add something different to the family...they know that they can create a stir just by kissing.  Jason still works for Brad Kemink and does his wood business on he side.  He has piles of firewood on the farm that can be seen from the road.  Katie switched jobs and now works at the bank in Fox Lake.  It's closer to home.  She seems to enjoy it from what we see...it's one of those "hush-hush" types of jobs.  These 2 kept out of trouble with their garden this past summer and plans are already being made for a larger one this next year.  Katie also added a flower bed to the front lawn and Jason's talking about taking down some trees on their lawn...does that surprise you???

Preston our Jason wanna-be...likes dressing in jeans and a flannel shirt.  Loves the farm and everything about it.  If the weather isn't nice you'll find him inside playing with Jason's old farm set.  His favorite Christmas music is "Little Drummer Kid" and "Frosting the snowman".  For only being 2 he knows a lot and is very smart.  If you compliment him on his smile he'll continue smiling and it will get cheesier as the compliments keep coming.  Maybe we'll be potty training next year...I don't want to have to say that too many times.

If Hannah gets a chance you can find her at Lambeau field wearing her boots but she needs to dress a little warmer.  She is in her second year at St. Norbert's and is planning on going on her first mission trip the first of the year.  Leaving home is still a struggle for her as she hugs the younger ones and you can see tears welling up.  Her studies are going well and everything is on track.  This past summer she started a new job...she milks cows south of Randolph when she comes home.  This is a new experience since it's in a parlor.

Being in the top 60  Culver's grill master teams in the country is an accomplishment of Aimee's this year. She'll laugh and giggle about this but no one else can say that. Last Dec. she graduated from Marian. Her job search is sluggish so she continues on at Culver's where she is a manager. Her and a friend still live in Fond du Lac where they share an apartment...a nice apartment for FDL.

Angie has had more of an eventful year...took the ACTs for the first time, got her drivers license, got her hunting license and a third job.  Being a junior in high school she's keeping her eyes open for colleges...St. Norbert's might be the top this week.  The new job includes baby sitting a 3 year old little boy on Tuesdays.  Having a drivers license really helps around here.  This past spring she competed in the Solo & Ensemble contest in Beaver Dam and got a first on her class B piano solo.  And a class C duet with Emily won a first also.

Emily has had just as an eventful year...got her drivers license 20 minutes before Angie, took the ACTs for the first time, got her hunting license and took on a third job.    She babysits on Fridays for the same little boy.  Her college choice this week looks like Edgewood in Madison.  I still question these girls if they want to be separated.  Emily's Solo and Ensemble class C piano solo also won a first...clean sweep for the Grahn's!

Finally we come to Ethan a.k.a. Mozart.  He has troubles sticking to what is assigned to him for piano lessons because he likes to compose his own music.  He's really good at driving the older ones nuts and annoys them continuously.  What do you expect from a 9 year old brother?  Goosebump books are the ultimate for him as he always is adding to his collection.

This concludes the kids...now Mark and I.  Mark seems to be getting banged up more this year.  If a heifer isn't rolling onto his legs a cow is stepping on his foot.  This year we remodeled half of the old barn and put in new stalls and add 30 cows to the herd.  We did the work ourselves even mixing the cement by hand.  The kids all got an education in barn remodeling, hanging stalls and mixing and pouring cement.  This makes chores much easier and better for Mark.

As for myself, my business keeps me hopping.  I have a fan page on facebook for those of you who want to see my creations and stay up to speed on new developments.  Juggling a business and a family for the past 4 years is not easy but I think I've found my way.  Our garden did well and we grew celery for the first time.  I don't think this family will ever buy celery again.  The flavor is incredible.  I even sold tomatoes on craig's list...LOL

Don't think this family is all about work...All work and no play makes for a dull family.  We took a vacation out east in May.  It definitely made for some memories but not the kind you'd write home about.  We haven't even talked about going on vacation again and we're usually planning the next one by now.  You can read about it here.  We got down to the Henry Villas Zoo in July.  In August we took the kids to the Dells and took the upper boat tour and the hidden canyon tour.

So this concludes our 2011 year in review.  We wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

An Online Cookie Swap

On Dec. 5 my fans from my soap page helped come up with this great list of baking ideas for the holidays. I announced the week before that we'd do this on this day so they had time to prepare some ideas.

Nancy was the first to submit a recipe. This sugar cookie looks great. She said, "I made this one for my kids. We didn't roll them, but made a tube, sliced the tube, then used press cookie cutters to emboss them with animal shapes. Easy, clean, with a playdoh like consistency. Irresistable, both raw and cooked."

Judy commented that this recipe for Pumpkin Pie Cake has become a family favorite. After looking at the recipe I think my aunt has made something similar to this.

Tiffany then stepped up to the plate (sorry for the pun) and suggested this recipe for making home made caramels. Funny thing is, my daughter Jacque and I were just talking about making caramels. Her and a friend made some this past weekend. :)

I've actually met the next participant, Patti owner of Grammas Gifts on Etsy and her blog. Chocolate peppermint pin wheel cookies....another thing I want to try.  They look so yummy!!!

I also met the next person, Peggy with a fun personality it didn't surprise me one bit that this recipe is one of her favorites...Pillsbury Refrigerator Cookies.  Don't believe be about her fun personality just take a look at her shop on Etsy.  

I've known Kelly online for many years, enough to know she's in love with Pink sugar and her family.  She blogged about her favorite recipes hot chocolate cookies and cherry white chocolate shortbread.

Seven Savvy Sisters from Etsy submitted this recipe they like to call Reindeer cookies...they omit the peanuts. We've made them too and used a mixture of chocolate chips and peanut butter chips.  Gotta love the drop and leave types of goodies...so simple.

The Pampered Tush submitted the recipe Cranberry White Chocolate Chip Cookies ...I love anything white chocolate.  Thanks Wendy for making me drool.

Julie from Doodle Bea Greeting Cards on Etsy submitted this chocolate no bake cookie recipe. Julie makes my reindeer poo cards and other occasional cards for me to send with packages.

Rebekah of Hoover Farms made these just today and said they are yummy. Cookie dough bites ....almost sounds like something we've make called cookie dough truffles. If they are anything like them you can't go wrong.

 Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies

11 1/4 flour

5 t. baking powder

2 1/2 t. baking soda

1 1/4 t. salt

1 1/4 t. nutmeg

3 1/8 c. shortening (I use butter)

5 c. sugar

5 eggs

2 1/2 t. vanilla

1 1/4 t. lemon extract

2 1/2 c. buttermilk or sour milk

Stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and nutmeg.  In a large mixer bowl beat shortening for 30 seconds.  Add sugar and beat till fluffy.  Add eggs, vanilla, and lemon extract and beat well.  Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to shortening mixture, beating till well mixed.  Divide in half.  Cover and chill at least 3 hours or till easy to handle.  ( my notes: this is a very soft and sticky dough...don't over do the flour)

For large cookies, roll dough 1/2 inch thick.  Cut into rounds with a 3 inch cookie cutter.  For small cookies, roll dough 3/8 inch thick and cut into rounds with a 2 inch cookie cutter.  Place 2 1/2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Sprinkle with additional sugar.  Bake in a 375 degree oven for 10-12 minutes or till done.  Remove and cool.  (My notes: I've altered this recipe and it does make many cookies but they do freeze well.  This recipe the way it is written fits in a bosch mixer) This recipe has been made every year in this house.  The recipe comes from a 1985 Better Homes and Gardens Cookies for Christmas cookbook.  

The final recipe comes from a cookbook that my sisters in law put together from my late MIL's recipe files.  Every Christmas she'd make these wonderful bars and now have become fond memories for us.  

Butterscotch Bars

2 eggs, beaten

1 c. sugar

1/8 t. salt

3/4 c. butter

1/2 t. vanilla

2 c. miniature marshmallows

2 1/2 c. graham cracker crumbs

1 c. butterscotch chips

3 T. chunk style peanut butter

In a glass bowl, combine eggs, sugar, salt and butter.  Microwave on high for 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 min. until mixture comes to a boil, stirring twice.  Microwave boil for 2 min., stirring once.  Cool.  Stir in marshmallows and cracker crumbs.  Spread into foil lined 9x9x2" pan.  Chill.  In small glass bowl, microwave butterscotch chips and peanut butter on high for 1-1 1/2 min.  or until chips are shiny and soft.  Stir.  Blend in vanilla.  Spread over crumb mixture.  Refrigerate.  Cut into bars.  Makes 3 dozen.  

I hope everyone enjoyed this cookie swap.